I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
