every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
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