And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
