i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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