what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
