I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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