So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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