Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
