Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dear god my vagina.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
