I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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