But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
