he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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