A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help