Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.