her vagine was all disorganized.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
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I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome