I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you