billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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