You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
