Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
