Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
