wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
