I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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