Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize