i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
