google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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