My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize