my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
