Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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