And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
