Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize