I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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