His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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