Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?