you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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