I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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