She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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