Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
