i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
