If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
