At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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