This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
