Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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