All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just had sex on a roof
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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