is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
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