Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
