I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you didnt know i had herpes?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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