During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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