I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize