shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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