My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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