take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
