So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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