I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize