The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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