i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
