i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
