it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
