i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Will exercising make me less horny?
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