what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
